I am thrilled to announce the release of my new book!  For my blog entry this week, I thought I'd share an excerpt with you.   Please visit the official Alphabet of Inner Demons website to learn more! 

Righteous Dude sees things in black and white.  From the lofty heights of his ideals he judges everything.  Whether it’s a religion, a political view, a trendy new diet, or how to hang the toilet paper, he is right and he has all of the answers.  And boy, does he love to opine. At heart Righteous Dude is uncomfortable with the vast, complicated world we live in.  Righteous Dude can be overwhelmed by all of this, so he can vastly oversimplifies things. His capacity to judge is a way of seeming to have control over life, as it is in many ways easier to be critical than to see all of the complex nuances present in the world and the reasons and values associated with these uniqueness.  It’s very convenient to make snap decisions, to assert yes or no, without looking at the details. He’s the Indecisomonster turned on his head.

Righteous Dude keeps you focused on the differences between you and others, rather than looking for the common ground and shared experiences.  Rather than reflecting upon the nuances of things, Righteous Dude causes you to see things in stark contrasts, and predetermined assumptions and beliefs that you express without even pausing to think.  He’s more focused on what you learned in the past rather than perceiving the present.  Energetically he makes you extremely unreceptive, putting out a lot more energy than you let in.  This leaves you feeling brittle.  Sadly, this is a vicious circle, because the response is to be ever more mentally controlling.

Righteous Dude also limits your vocabulary to words like “always”, “never” and the smallest of all….”should”. Righteous Dude is the King of Shoulds - and the Emperor of Being Right. The mental habits of Righteous Dude make the mind a little smaller each time so the world doesn’t seem so filled with possibilities or complexities.  If you don’t relish your capacity for being curious about the people, issues and the world around you, your creativity diminishes.  Being open to other’s points of view is a way to stay open through the uncomfortable places and to love the questions in life that present themselves to you.

When Righteous Dude is balanced you make an amazing teacher.  For this you must express yourself through your heart, rather than your head so there’s common ground and a mutual respect for those you’re teaching.  Be willing to learn from others as much as you’re willing to share with others.  Taming him is a balance of being grounded in your own values while being open to the perspectives of others. 

When he’s balanced you also make a great orator, able to inspire and rally people.  You can help others see a different perspective than their own.  When Righteous Dude is able to give up being right, you’re able to perceive the truth in any perspective.  This makes you a powerful mediator.

To tame him, start to notice your pet peeves as opportunities for connection rather than correction.   Before you growl at the person who just threw a lit cigarette but on the ground, how can you first appreciate that person and see him as a person?   How can you communicate?  How can you disagree without being disagreeable?  What are all of the options?  How can you create an energy that is inclusive and kind? 

This path may be longer, but is more enduring and reflects who you want to be.  When you notice you have your hackles up and you’re in the right about something, ask yourself, what’s more important to you - being right, or being happy?  Life is so short, why spend even one moment being emotionally and mentally rigid?  What would be available for you if you purposely and gently decided that being right doesn’t matter?  What would it be like if you just let yourself relish being wrong?

Affirmations for Righteous Dude:  I am willing to expand the horizons of my thinking.  I am open to the perspectives of others.  I allow other people to be themselves and appreciate others for what they share with me.