Packing 08/05/2010
I am packing for our move at the end of the summer. I love the process of cleaning out closets, inventorying what we need and choosing what I want to take with us and what to discard, and what items to give to friends. As things clear out, the house begins to feel lighter. There’s something about having our possessions compact enough to fit onto a truck that stirs my inner gypsy. Yet, the most fun is envisioning how our belongings will land in our new house as we create a new space to call home. The choice about what to pack runs deeper than just the objects we take with us. This move is about creating the vision I want for my life – something I’ve dreamed of for years. Central to my vision is embracing and living my values. I have a tick list of ideals I’ve desired to express more fully in my life: to be in a smaller town where I feel I can put down roots, to live closer to the earth, and with easy access to the sports I love. And, now that I’m a parent, for my daughter to grow up in a place where the people are friendly and nature is accessible. I long for a place where it feels easy to get out of the house and into the hills, where I can experience nature unfolding around me and expanding within me. It’s so easy to imagine that all of these dimensions will magically appear after we move, and not to think about what I have to ask of myself to manifest these. Much more than packing up my household, I have to reach down into myself to ask what I want to leave behind – what habits and beliefs I hold here in my home in DC will no longer serve me in my new environment? And when I ask myself this question, ironically the answer I receive is that I need to give up believing that my values - the love, respect and access of the outdoors and of engaging with friendly people at the supermarket - are not accessible to me now, in my current city and in this present moment. I must cultivate the experience of being with my values rather than being with my desires for the future. My values must be alive within me and flow from me into the world. In this manner, I can experience them now. In the same way that my muscles don’t get stronger by scheduling exercise next week – they get stronger when I use them now. Even if the use is to simply to sit with better posture, I need to strengthen my core values today so that I can pack them with me when I move. If I do not live these values now, when I move, how likely is it I can live them fully? True, as I set up a new home in a new environment, my ability to live and experience these values may be greater, but they start within me. The capacity for me to live more ecocentrically is not something that happens at some future time when I grow my own food, or live off-of the grid (although these things are important). It’s an awareness of being in the place I am right now, and allowing myself to be at home here. Right now it’s about embracing the muggy days of summer, of watching the slight breeze dance with the leaves on the lush trees in my yard, and feeling the soft fingers of that breeze on my face. It’s about enjoying the walk I take through this hot summer day to as I run my errands – and to celebrate that I can go to the post office, drug store and grocery without having to get in to my car. As I pack up my home and prepare to move west, I must ground myself more deeply in my own center through being where I am now. Otherwise I fall prey to the Inner Demon, Whendalee who is the demon of wishes. This drives to the core of what I find most challenging and most beautiful about being human. All of this is temporary. Life is a continual process of experiencing and letting go. So as I embark on my errands today with a spirit of loving the place I am in, I ask of you: is there a value that you cherish that you think you can’t experience today? How about rather than rent your life out to your future, you find a way to make it happen for yourself now. 1 Comment | Welcome to my blog. I've been completely sidetracked from writing this winter by exploring all of the new adventures and offerings of life here in Park City. I will resume soon. In the interim, please do peruse my previous posts and check out my recently published book: The Alphabet of Inner Demons and How to Tame them
Wishes for a joyful 2011, Jen ArchivesSeptember 2010 CategoriesAll |

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