We so often talk about having our lives in balance as if the day is an all-you-can-eat-buffet and we’re supposed to serve ourselves properly measured potions of work, meaningful time with family and friends, plus of course, sleep and exercise.  This way of relating to life often leaves my clients feeling bloated and tired after overindulging or constantly hungry for more because of a too-lean schedule.  Some people settle for quick sugar fixes because their true selves are constantly over piled with the bland starches of the work-a-day life. 

What if, rather than thinking of balance as a plate you’re filling with food, you instead thought of it as your ability to taste, savor and to digest your life?  What if you thought of balance as the energy and awareness you carry with you through the different activities in your day, whatever it is that is happening at the moment?

At the heart of balance is your capacity to be present with what is, while also maintaining perspective of the bigger picture of your life and your future.  In this sense, balance has several ingredients:  awareness of what you feel, what is happening in your present environment, what you are doing in this moment and how you are showing up – bringing as much of yourself to this moment as is available to you.   Yet balance also requires the part of you that is self-regulating to hold space for the larger flow of your day and structure of your time. 

When you try to attain balance, it’s frequently your self-regulator that is given too much emphasis.  Your regulator is the inner voice that wants to run your show.  It thinks abstractly in order to remind you that you must not forget such things as your need to go to the bank today.  A regulator pulls you out of the present moment.  An unbalanced regulator eats up your psychic energy and can make things feel overstuffed and a trifle neurotic.


Basically, your regulator wants to feel that nothing is going to slip through the cracks and that you are moving in a direction in alignment with your purpose.  This is a very valuable part of self.  Your regulator is responsible.  It’s important to give this part of self a way to work effectively that doesn’t over pile your psychic plate.  So let’s work with this abstract part of self in a way that is spacious. 

Here are four dimensions to help foster equilibrium with your regulator.  The first is to create simple structures so this voice doesn’t have to keep reminding you of things that are outside of the present moment.  People create plans in order to try to get more accomplished.  Here, it’s not so much about getting more accomplished as it is about getting what you want done with a sense of ease and flow.  Lists are wonderful for this.  As soon as something is written down, psychic space is freed up.  The idea is to create a schedule or task list that provides you with boundaries around your space and time so you can focus your attention more fully.

The second dimension is to create a deep sense of inner alignment.  This can be more creative - using such processes as value streams and dream boards.  Or, it can be more concrete such as writing a thorough business plan that includes a solid vision statement.  The emphasis here is on creating a sense of direction that your self-regulator can trust, but in a way that is spacious – not focused on the getting it done as much creating as a profound confidence in where you are going.

Another important dimension to being in balance is to engage your awareness more fully in this present moment.  You can enjoy greater balance by focusing your senses on straightforward and simple things.  What are some raw elements in your day that you can attend to more fully and enjoy?  How do you let your absorb what is around you at this moment?  

For example, what if give yourself a few minutes to truly savor your morning cup of coffee?  What if you purchase your vegetables from the local farmer’s market so you understand where your food is coming from?  What if, as you exercise or engage in your daily commute, you challenge yourself to find what is unique along this path rather than what is the same?

Likewise when you pause to take in a person by truly sharing a smile before you use words to greet them, or when you allow yourself to relish their energy for a moment, you not only connect more fully, you create balance in your energy field and are more aware in to the present moment.  Awareness of these simple elements of life enhance your balance when you’re striving hard on a project or are overly driven.

Finally, just be curious about the voice of your regulator.  Become aware of the influence it has on your capacity to be effective in your endeavors as well as its impact on your experience of life.  What kinds of questions would you like to ask of this important part of your self?  What tasks would you like to assign it?

Ultimately finding balance in your life isn’t an issue of time management as it is a concern engaging more richly with your inner dialogue.